like a hundred zillion poems, and other things

hello kitty band-aid


when i am here

i forget where i used to be

when i am not here

please don’t remember

how i kept forgetting

when i am there

i will cash in

all the words i had

for a new body

and i will lay that body

in a road in times square

and hum to my self

hum hum hum

here is my contribution to the "photographs with 'i am like october when i am dead in them'" meme, i guess?

  • i will carve a spaceship from my internet flesh

don’t bother trying to call me

i will be busy carving a spaceship from my internet flesh

  • our little private jokes

my need to be wanted

your want to be needed

we laugh

and feel infinite

not in a good way

and neither of us know

that both of us feel infinite

we never say that we are fucked


i guess that

if we fucked forever

we would never have to feel

  • what did you think

of that time i stopped talking

stopped leaving my room

stopped eating

you didn’t even know that happened

do you like my poems

  • my first step

in radically dissociating

from my body

is to eat

all of this fucking

peanut butter

  • when you find this poem

on a screwed up piece of paper in the trash,

please don’t read it

it hurts when you read it

my writing process

  • remember the night

we talked about light speed

paradoxed ourselves dizzy

sat in a field, shaded

in the midst of blinding roads

and felt something

straining us from the grass

what was that

and why did we hold on

  • i curl up in the empty bathtub

record myself making baby noises

feel purpose

lay with my phone on my chest

think about living on neptune, tea,

sticky rice

i feel the radiation sink in

imagine it filling gaps where words were

i sleep

sleeping in a bathtub is so nice






those are all of the poems

i dedicate them to Poncho Peligroso [ ]

i am sorry i haven’t done this thing in a while

words are hard

a few great things happened while i ‘wasn’t blogging’

i handed out steve roggenbuck’s chapbook to a bunch of people

here are a couple photos of me holding photos of emilie holding copies of ‘i am like october when i am dead’

the first one also has jonny’s foot in it

the second one had too much brightness or something so you can’t see the words and written in biro next to it is “a poem by steve roggenbuck, sort of”


another thing is that Poncho Peligroso sent me a bunch of really neat stuff

including a moleskine notebook, a copy of ‘richard yates’ by tao lin and a copy of ‘eat when you feel sad’ by zachary german

i haven’t written in the moleskine notebook yet, it’s so pretty

i have read all of ‘richard yates’ but have not finished ‘eat when you feel sad’ yet, this is not a comment on the books it’s just the thing that happened

i really liked ‘richard yates’ it made me feel terrible pretty much throughout it

well um here are some more pictures

a note that came with the mail, it says, "Dear Snail Shell Escape Artist, I BELIEVE IN YOU, KEEP IT TOGETHER, YOU'RE A FUCKING POET. sincerely, poncho peligroso"

pretty books on top of pretty moleskine on top of pretty envelope

and the pretty envelope too it says "To: Aurist (who is a ghost)"

so uh yeah thank you so much Poncho Peligroso you are the best

i hope you enjoyed my words and this post or something i guess

here is a list of my favourite 10 releases from 2010, because i can

it will probably change a lot later but i don’t even care i’m making this god damn post

1. Forest Swords – Dagger Paths

2. Los Campesinos – Romance is Boring

3. Johnny Foreigner – You Thought You Saw a Shooting Star but Yr Eyes Were Blurred With Tears and That Lighthouse Can Be Pretty Deceiving With the Sky So Clear and Sea So Calm

4. Neverever – Angelic Swells

5. Erykah Badu – New Amerykah Part Two (Return of the Ankh)

6. Baths – Cerulean

7. Islet – Wimmy

8. Nicki Minaj – Pink Friday

9. Scissor Shock – Psychic Existentialism

10. Lil B – Rain in England

thank you i don’t know when i will be back